Meets Dragon Ball Z
Background: Sailor Moon, Tuxedo Mask, and Sailor Mini Moon were brought, along with Goku, Gohan (who is eight at the time of this story), and Vegeta, to another dimension by a mysterious force. Their purpose? To fight evil (duh). However, they don't get along very well
It was a nice spring day in DBZ World. Goku was eating lunch (about a hundred bowls of rice). Upstairs, Gohan was diligently studying. Over at the Capsule Corporation, Vegeta was doing whatever he does in his spare time (probably training).
Meanwhile, in Sailor Moon World, Sailor Moon, Sailor Mini Moon, and Tuxedo Mask were fighting the current evil force trying to kill everyone. Suddenly, all six of them found themselves standing on opposite sides of a nice, sunny meadow. The Moonies were on the eastern side, and the Z fighters ended up on the western side.
"Where'd they go?!" cried Sailor Moon (she figured this was some kind of illusion her enemies had used so that they could escape).
"Where are we?" said Tuxedo Mask.
"I don't know," Sailor Mini Moon replied, "but it looks scary," (remember, they're in the middle of that nice, sunny meadow).
"We were probably brought here by some mysterious power to fight evil," said Tuxedo Mask.
"How did you know that?" asked Sailor Moon.
"Just a hunch," Tuxedo Mask replied.
Meanwhile, on the other side of the meadow
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! MY FOOD IS GONE! I'M HAVING A NIGHTMARE!" screamed Goku (who had been on his 99th bowl of rice).
"My books are gone! I'm in heaven!" Gohan whooped.
"Where the hell am I!?" Vegeta grumbled. He hated having his routine interrupted.
"Hey I know!" Goku said with that annoyingly cheerful look on his face "We must have been brought here by some mysterious force to fight evil!"
"How did you know that, Kakarrot?" Vegeta said. 'How come it's always him who knows what's going on? Why not me? I'd make a much better main character than him anyway. After all, I am a prince,' he thought.
"I-I don't know," said Goku as he scratched his head and got a confused look on his face. "You're asking too many questions! Stop! My head hurts!"
Vegeta rolled his eyes.
Just then Gohan and Mini Moon happened to look across the meadow at each other.
"Hey! It looks like there's someone on the other side of the meadow!" Mini Moon said excitedly.
"Hey! It looks like there's someone on the other side of the meadow!" Gohan said excitedly. (Are you noticing a trend here?)
They all began walking across the meadow towards each other. When our DBZ friends got about a quarter of the way across the field, Goku turned towards Vegeta and Gohan and said, "Look, guys, those people coming across the meadow might be dangerous. I'll go over and make friends with them. You guys stay here."
"Okay!" said Gohan.
"Whatever," said Vegeta.
Goku and the Sailors met in the middle of the field.
"Hi, you all!" Goku said. "My name is Goku, and I was brought here to fight an evil force with my friends." He pointed at Gohan and Vegeta, who were becoming rather impatient by this time, since they couldn't hear a word Goku was saying. "The short guy with the spiky hair is Vegeta, and the boy is my son Gohan," he finished.
"I'm Sailor Moon, this is Sailor Mini Moon, and this is Tuxedo Mask," said Sailor Moon as she pointed to each of them in turn. "We were brought here by a mysterious force to fight evil too."
While they were talking, Vegeta got fed up with waiting. From the way Kakarrot was smiling and pointing, those guys weren't harmless at all. 'Damn it,' he thought. 'And I was hoping we'd get to fight those dorky-looking goons. Unless' Vegeta got an evil idea and began grinning. Gohan, who noticed, began to get scared. After all, Vegeta's last evil idea had ended up with Goku, Gohan, Vegeta, Krillen, and Yamucha permanently banned from every single food serving establishment in the world because of a nasty incident at McDonalds involving a vat of hot oil and had left Chi Chi with a chronic fear of driving (this is the REAL reason she never got her driver's license).
Vegeta began to cross the field towards where Goku and the Moonies were standing. Gohan was tired of waiting so he walked over too. When Vegeta got up to them he stood there for a moment and sized up the Sailors. He decided the blond with the weird hair du would serve his purposes. She also seemed to be the leader. Perfect.
Turning to Mini Moon and Tuxedo Mask, he said, while pointing at Sailor Moon, "Is that your leader? No wonder you guys are so pathetic looking. I mean, just look at her hair. It looks like someone dropped a bowl of spaghetti and meatballs on her head. I bet she's a real bimbo." For an added touch, Vegeta turned to Mini Moon. "And YOU," he said. "It looks like your mother had an affair with the Energizer bunny."
Mini Moon, luckily, did not hear this because she was too busy staring at Gohan with those heart eyes the Moonies get whenever they fall in love. Gohan was getting very uncomfortable, since he was EXTREMELY freaked out by her pink hair and red eyes (and frankly, he agreed with Vegeta's last statement).
Now, during Vegeta's little speech, Sailor Moon's face became increasingly contorted and red with anger. Tuxedo Mask looked at Sailor Moon with increasing apprehension since when Sailor Moon got mad, the bad guys weren't the only ones who suffered Anyway, Tuxedo Mask moved over to Sailor Moon and to her said in a comforting voice, "Now Serena, don't get too hasty don't do anything you'll regret later..."
Vegeta was very pleased with himself. He loved making people angry just to see what their reaction would be. This one looked she might put up a fight after all. Good. He'd finally get the fight he wanted. Vegeta grinned with anticipation.
"THAT'S IT!" screamed Sailor Moon, who was going into hysterics. "I WON'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! EVERYONE MAKES FUN OF ME FOR BEING A DITZ AND HAVING THIS FREAKY HAIRDO! I LIKE THIS HAIRDO! GET OVER IT, YOU SHORT LITTLE CREEP! AND YOU CAN'T TALK ABOUT FREAKY HAIR; YOU HAVE THE WEIRDEST LOOKING HAIR I'VE EVER SEEN! IT LOOKS LIKE YOUR MOTHER HAD AN AFFAIR WITH A PORCUPINE!" She then leapt at Vegeta, screaming. Vegeta, in turn, leapt at her, but they were stopped by Tuxedo Mask and Goku, respectively. Tuxedo mask grabbed Sailor Moon's arms and held her still while he tried to calm her down. Goku got Vegeta in a full nelson and started yelling at him that these guys were their friends and that Vegeta shouldn't try to hurt them (Goku hadn't understood a word they had been saying, but he knew a fight when he saw one).
"LET GO OF ME, KAKARROT!" Vegeta yelled. "SHE MADE FUN OF MY HEIGHT AND HAIR! SHE MUST DIE!" Vegeta then kicked Goku as hard as he could in an extremely sensitive area and Goku was forced to let go of Vegeta. Then Goku fell down, groaning. Sailor Moon also got free from Tuxedo Mask and began spinning around, saying, "Mmmoooonnnnnn Cccccrrrrrrrryyyyyssssttaaaallll." As she spun, Sailor Moon's hair whacked Tuxedo Mask and Vegeta about fifty feet away. Goku was not hit because he was still on the ground, groaning and twitching. Mini Moon and Gohan weren't hit because they were far enough away from Sailor Moon's deadly pigtails.
Meanwhile, over at Mini Moon and Gohan
"Hi, my name is Sailor Mini Moon, but you can call me Rini," said Mini Moon in
a dreamy voice. As she mover closer to Gohan he backed away in fear. Gohan was beginning to wish he had never been brought to this world in the first place. Not only was this place annoyingly cheerful looking, but the people who were supposed to help them were really weird and annoying and weren't helping at all. When Mini Moon tried to kiss him Gohan screamed and began running as fast as he could. 'This just keeps getting worse and worse,' he thought. Gohan would have blown her all the way to King Kai's, but he had always been told not to hit girls. When Gohan reached his father, who was still on the ground twitching and groaning, he said, "Dad! Dad! There's a freaky girl with pink hair, red eyes, and a weird hairdo chasing me! Help!"
"N-Not right now, son," Goku said in a squeaky voice. "D-Daddy's a littlehurt right now, okay?"
Gohan didn't get a chance to reply because Mini Moon pounced on him just then and tried to kiss him on the lips while screaming, "YOU'RE MINE, YOU HEAR ME?! MINE!"
"THAT'S IT! I'M SICK AND TIRED OF BEING A GOOD LITTLE BOY!" Gohan yelled as he knocked Mini Moon out.
"That's my boy," said Goku. "Always make sure you assert yourself with women. Otherwise you might end up like me, a slave to my own wife."
Gohan shuddered at the thought. "Don't worry, Dad. I'll make sure I do that," he said.
While all this was going on Sailor Moon was spinning around, still chanting one of her Moony attacks. Vegeta and Tuxedo Mask picked themselves up off the ground and made their way to Sailor Moon, rubbing their heads.
Vegeta got to her first. Since Sailor Moon was still spinning around chanting, he grabbed one of her pigtails and knocked her out with one well-placed punch in the jaw.
Tuxedo Mask ran over. "Hey, don't you treat my girlfriend like that!" he yelled as he pulled out his cane and tried to whack Vegeta with it. Tuxedo Mask, too, fell with just one blow.
Vegeta shook his head. "This is just so pathetic," he said. "I can't believe they were supposed to be fighters. Hookers is more like it."
Sailor Moon, Mini Moon, and Tuxedo Mask were just starting to regain consciousness and Vegeta was charging up for a blast that would take them all out at once when a blinding light appeared in the sky above their heads. Everyone stopped what they were doing to look at it.
"I AM VERY DISSAPOINTED IN YOU," said a booming voice from the light.
"Oh yeah, well who the hell are you?" said Sailor Moon, who was in a bad mood from getting knocked out by an annoying midget with spiky hair.
"I AM THE ONE WHO SENT YOU HERE," said the voice. "AND FROM WHAT I HAVE SEEN OF YOUR BEHAVIOR, YOU ARE OBVIOUSLY NOT FIT TO FIGHT THE EVIL BEING THAT RESIDES IN THIS WORLD. YOU WILL ALL BE SENT BACK TO YOUR OWN WORLDS TO THE TIME WHEN YOU LEFT. REMEMBER THIS DISGRACE AND IMPROVE YOUR BEHAVIOR."
With that, there was a blinding flash of light and everyone found themselves back where they had been before they were transported away.
If anyone is wondering, it eventually took the combined casts of Gumdam Wing, Tenchi Muyo, Ronin Warriors, Inu Yasha, Fushigi Yugi, Card Captors, Ranma ½, Trigun, and several other anime shows to defeat the evil Emperor Zurg (who turned out to be the "evil being" the voice was talking about). Zurg, by the way, had been watching the whole episode from behind a bush on the far side of the field and almost died of laughter. No one knows how Zurg got to an anime world from the world of computer animation, but he was overheard saying he came because all the anime heroes were really pathetic and they had no intellect.
On a heavier note, Goku and Serena (Sailor Moon) both had nervous breakdowns and suffered from depression for the rest of their lives. They would often just sit around all day and say, "I'm not fit to fight evil. I'm not fit to fight evil," over and over again in a flat voice. Gohan and Darien (Tuxedo Mask) had to do a lot of cheering up in the months after the incident. Rini also suffered from minor depression, which was apparently caused by "being separated from my sweet, sweet love." Vegeta apparently suffered no side effects from the whole thing, and his only comment on the matter was "I never got to kill them- oh well."
As for the voice and it's final message to the Sailors and Z fighters, no one knows what he meant, but then again, no one seems to care. When the author of this story asked the voice to voice it's opinion, all it said was "I MADE A MISTAKE- SO SUE ME!"
THE ENDor is it?
Hope you like the story, everyone! If you didn't understand parts of it, that's okay. This is just the stuff that goes on inside my head when I have free time (pretty scary, huh?). Hopefully I will find time in the future to write moreinteresting stories like this one. Until then- BUH BYE!