How to Make A
Welcome to Origami 101! said Jeice the instructor. Today were going to learn how to make butterflies.
I cant believe you made me come to this stupid class, Kakarrot, said Vegeta, who was sitting in a front row desk.
I didnt make you come here, Goku replied. This is part of your therapy, remember? How to Manage Stress.
STRESS?! STRESS!? WHAT DO YOU MEAN, STRESS!? Vegeta yelled as he grabbed Gokus shirt and began shaking him violently. DO I LOOK STRESSED TO YOU!!!!?
Y-yes, Goku tentatively replied
RRRRRRR Vegeta growled as he plunked Goku back in his chair and sat back down, the usual sour look on his face.
AAAHHH! WHERE AM I?! came an unfamiliar scream. Wheres Rebekah!? It was Paul the non-anime person.
Vegeta raised his eyebrow. Wait, hes not anime, is he? No! Waithes REAL!
Real? What? Real what? Oh my! Its a livin! Goku said. Then he went back to trying to fold his paper. ARRGH! he said. This is hard! How do they do it?
Vegeta watched Goku with a disgusted look on his face. And this is the strongest warrior in the universe, he thought. Whats the world coming to?
Now, why did we come here again? said a nervous Tenchi as he looked at a raging Paul, who was pulling at the door. IT WONT OPEN! NOOOOOOOOOOOO! he yelled.
The advertisement said origami promoted bonding and family togetherness. How romantic! said Ryoko as she hung on to Tenchis arm.
Bondinggreat, he replied.
Hey, wheres Kione and Sasami? said Mihoshi.
Kione got that mysterious illness and Sasami stayed behind to take care of her, remember? Ayeka said.
Oh yeah, said Mihoshi. That was one mysterious illness. She was okay one minute, but as soon as I said I was going to go to this origami class, she got sick and had to stay behindweird.
Oh, Heero, isnt this fun? Relena said as she gazed at Heero lovingly.
Hmph, Heero said.
Duo was busy trying to put his butterfly together. He put his oddly folded wings on his desk, grabbed a stick of butter, and mashed it into the wings. There! he said. Its a butterfly!
Thats a butterfly? said Quatre.
YES! IT IS! DONT DIS MY BUTTERFLY! ITS A BEAUTIFUL BUTTERFLY!
What are we doing here, anyway? said Trowa.
Remember? We brought Wufei here as part of his Getting Along With People therapy, Quatre said.
Oh, yeah, Trowa replied. Where is Wufei, anyway?
Wufei was sitting in a corner, scowling. I hate people, he thought. Why did they bring me here anyway? Origami is for girls.
Hey Kakarrot, who are all these people? Theyre not from Dragonball Z, said Vegeta.
I think theyre from other anime shows. This class is supposed to be open to all anime, Goku said
All right everyone! Pay attention! said Jeice.
Youre Jeice, right? Didnt I kill you? Vegeta asked.
Yes, you did, Jeice said, pointing to his halo. But in the afterlife I discovered that origami was my true passion in life, not fighting, so I came back just to teach you.
Oh joy, Vegeta replied sarcastically. Then he happened to look up and saw the sixteen-year-old Bulma from Dragonball sitting in the back of the room. Whoa! Kakarrot, who is that? he said as he pointed to Bulma.
Goku looked up. Her? Oh! Thats the Bulma from Dragonball. I wonder what shes doing here?
Thats Bulma? Vegeta said in disbelief. Man, if only Id come to Earth sooner
Vegeta began moving across the room towards Bulma. Bulma took one look at him and said Ew, gross! Youre short and have freaky hair! Get away from me! and went over to Paul, who she thought was the cutest thing since the Teletubbies.
Hi! Youre real, arent you? Ive never met anyone real before, she said.
AHH! Blue hair! Freaky! WHERES REBEKAH!? I WANNA GET OUT OF HERE! Paul yelled as he banged on the door harder than ever. SOMEBODY! ANYBODY! HELP ME!
Vegeta stood there, shocked. Then he began to follow Bulma, thinking Im going to have a little talk with her when I get back.
Ooh! Look! I made a bunny! said Sailor Moon.
Uh, yeahits cute, said an uncomfortable Tuxedo Mask as he tried to sound interested in Sailor Moons babbling. I dont see how this is supposed to promote bonding and family togetherness.
Yeah! This place is boring! Im going to go check out the cute guys, said Mini Moon. Then she left the other Moonies and went over to Gohan, who had come with Krillen and Trunks to get blackmail pictures of Vegeta doing origami.
Hey there, Mini Moon said. Im Sailor Mini Moon, but you can call me Rini. Whats your name?
UmGohan, Gohan replied. Then Mini Moon started babbling about how many times she had saved the world (cough, cough) and how she thought Gohans eyes were pretty.
Gohan was getting scared. Pink hair and red eyeshow freaky he thought. Then Gohan looked across the room and saw Relena. Its love at first sight! he thought. He proceeded to sit down next to her and tried to strike up a conversation while Mini Moon clung to his arm. Unfortunately, his attempts were unsuccessful, as Relena was busy staring at her new obsession, Tenchi.
All right class! Now its time to move on to our second fold! Jeice bubbled.
Oh no! Im still on my first! Wait up! said Goku as he tried desperately to fold his paper. Everyone stared at him.
Vegeta, who had temporarily given up on Bulma and had sat back down, scooched away from Goku and into Relena, who scooched away from him and into Heero, who scooched away from her and into Duo, who said I dont like you that way anymore, and scooched away from him and into Quatre, who said I already have a boyfriend, and scooched away from him and into Trowa, who fell off his chair and into Sailor Moons lap.
Sailor Moon, who had been bored ever since Tuxedo Mask left to chase Ayeka, who had left Tenchi (who had turned gay and had his sights set on Tuxedo Mask) and was chasing Trunks, who was chasing Noin (who had come to get blackmail pictures of Wufei doing origami), who was chasing Krillen, who was chasing Mihoshi, who had also left Tenchi and was hovering around Goku, who was still trying to get his first fold done, said Ooh, look at your pretty bangs! Lets make them even prettier! and began sticking little origami bunnies in Trowas hair as she wrapped her own hair around his neck like a collar.
AWK! LET ME GO! he screamed, desperately trying to get out of her grasp, which was unusually strong for a girls.
Vegeta got bored watching Goku try to fold paper and went over to where Wufei was still sitting in the corner.
You here for therapy, too? he asked.
Yup, Wufei replied. I hate people.
I supposedly have problems with stress.
Really? What kind of stress?
Wufei and Vegeta struck up quite an interesting conversation about their life stories and the people they hated.
Trowa finally got free of Sailor Moons grasp and joined Paul in attacking the door (which was becoming very banged up by now).
Heero was relieved when Relena finally went away to bother Tenchi and joined Vegeta and Wufei in their corner.
Sailor Moon decided she needed another boy to play with (a.k.a. annoy), so she walked around looking at all the boys, but she dismissed all of them for being too ordinary. She wanted someone with hair as weird as hers. Then she looked across the room at the corner where Heero, Wufei, and Vegeta were sitting.
Ooh, a guy with weird hair I can stick stuff in! she giggled. She ran over to Vegeta and tried to tie a bow in it.
AHH! What are you DOING!? GET OFF ME! Vegeta yelled. When Sailor Moon wouldnt stop pulling at his hair, Vegeta grabbed her hair, swung her over his head like a sling, and threw her to the other side of the room where Duo was still working on his butterfly.
Hey! A girl with hair as long as mine! he said.
Hey! A GUY with hair as long as mine! she said.
WOULD YOU LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!! Gohan yelled as he tried to get away from Mini Moon. Gohan lurched (Mini Moon was holding on to his leg) over to where Goku was still trying to fold his paper.
Dad! Help! Theres a girl with freaky pink hair and red eyes following me around!
Goku looked up. Pink hair, he thought. Cool. I wish I had pink hair!
Gohan looked at Goku looking at Mini Moon and groaned. First the girl from Harvest Moon 64, then the incident with the hair dye, and now this! he thought. What next? A clown from the circus?
Duo was getting EXTREMELY annoyed with Sailor Moon. First, she wouldnt stop babbling. Second, she kept sticking origami butterflies in his hair. Third, she wouldnt stop babbling.
Ooh, I know! Lets make cute little shadow pictures! Sailor Moon gushed. Then she turned off the lights, turned on a flashlight that appeared from no where, and made a butterfly shadow on the wall.
Lookie! Its a cute little butterfly! she said.
Oh, so thats how you think butterflies are made?! Well, I know differently! Duo said as he, Trowa, Quatre, Wufei, Heero, Tuxedo Mask, and Tenchi began moving towards Sailor Moon with evil grins on their faces.
Uhguys? said Sailor Moon. Why are you looking at me like that? Youre scaring me! This isnt funny!
Duo reached over and turned off the flashlight.
After throwing Sailor Moon across the room, Vegeta decided to start following Bulma again (by the way, she was still trying to win Paul over, but he was too busy body-slamming the door to notice). When the lights went out, he bumped into Ryoko, who was the only original girl left still chasing Tenchi. Thinking that she was Bulma, Vegeta leaned over and kissed her. Ryoko, thinking he was Tenchi, kissed him right back. When someone finally turned the lights back on, Ryoko looked at Vegeta.
Hey! Youre not Tenchi! she said.
Hey! Youre not Bulma! he said.
They looked at each other and began to grin twin evil smiles.
Sowhat do you do for a living? Ryoko asked.
Well, I used to go to different planets and kill everyone on them, then sell the planet to a species that needed more living space, Vegeta replied. But this guy named Kakarrot made me stop, and Ive been really bored ever since. What do you do for a living?
Me? Im a space pirate, but this guy named Yosho trapped me and when I got out I fell in love with this guy Tenchi, but hes old news.
After a few minutes of talking, Vegeta and Ryoko decided to go conquer the universe together. They blasted a hole in the roof, took off in Ryooki, and were never heard from again. As they went into space, Vegeta decided to test out Ryooki by having it blow up Nataku, which was sitting a short distance away.
NOOOOOO! said Wufei as Nataku blew up. Thats IT! I have no reason to live anymore now that Natakus gone! He then began trying to kill himself by repeatedly bashing his head on a desk.
Hey! Will someone help me get out the hole in the roof? Somebody? PLEASE!? said Paul as he tried to jump high enough to get to the hole in the roof.
This ISNT funny, you guys! Will you PLEASE let me down? said Sailor Moon.
Oh, great. We forgot to gag her, said Trowa.
Dont worry. Ill do it, said Quatre. Hey, Whatever-your-name-is! Mooner! I have a nice juicy apple for you!
Apple? said Sailor Moon.
Yes Quatre replied. Sailor Moon opened her mouth and Quatre threw the apple into it, gagging her.
Sailor Moon was wrapped in origami paper with Duos butterflies pasted all over it. Her hair was tied to a girder that was hanging out of the hole Vegeta and Ryoko had made. Her feet hung about six inches off the ground.
YES! ALMOST THERE! yelled Paul as he sawed away at the door with a chunk of Vegetas hair that had gotten pulled out when Sailor Moon was attacking him. Paul was completely covered in sawdust and strands of black hair (Vegetas hair gel was starting to wear off). Finally, the doorknob fell off and the door swung open.
IM FREE! Paul cheered as he ran outside. Suddenly, Rebekah appeared about twenty feet away.
PAUL! she yelled.
REBEKAH! Paul yelled.
They began running towards each other really slow, like in the movies. The screen faded to white and then to a meadow with lots of flowers. Paul and Rebekah held hands and began twirling around, laughing and singing.
Suddenly, they found themselves back at their own houses.
Was that a dream? they thought.
Meanwhile, back at the ranch
All right everyone! Class is over! said a still somehow bubbly Jeice. Within 0.001 seconds, the classroom was empty except for Sailor Moon (who was still hanging from a girder) and Goku, who still had not mastered the art of folding paper.
I DID IT! I FINALLY DID IT! Goku yelled as he proudly held up his folded paper.
Goku, said Jeice. Class is over. If you let me keep that for you, you can finish it next time.
NO! said Goku. You might wrinkle it!
Well, take it home with you then.
But it might get wrinkled there, too!
Then let me put it in this nice, wrinkle free container. Jeice held up a Tupperware container.
Butit might get wrinkled!
What part of wrinkle free dont you understand?
Huh? Wrinkles? I dont want mymythingyto get wrinkles!
Jeice sighed. It was going to be a long night.
Id like to explain how this story came about. My friend Dezxiy (pronounced Dezi) and I were in class one day when we had a tutorial (that means we can do whatever we want) and we started talking about writing stories. Dezxiy asked if I could write a story if I was given just the title. I said I could write one if I was given just one line. So Dezxiy gave me both (the line was Oh, so thats how you think butterflies are made?! Well, I know differently!). Andwellhere it is! I hope it wasnt too freaky for you. By the way, Dezxiy deserves about half the credit because she gave me a lot of the ideas, like putting our non-anime friends Rebekah and Paul into the story. Well, thats all.